I Was Seeing the Ending, Not the Beginning

Mindful Movement & Inspirational Movers
Written By Coach Vida

I haven’t written here in a while. The reason is actually a good one: I’ve made somewhat of a career pivot. After years of self-employment and teaching, I accepted a full-time position. It’s a short-term position, with a two-year term, but it has brought something I had been longing for: stability. I’m grateful for it. I’m excited about the work. And I’m also learning where I fit in this new machine.

Lunchbox with Sardines cover and water bottle at roof top lunch spot

Lunchtime looks new these days

What role do I play in this system? How do I show up in an environment that is completely new to me, except for the very specific expertise I bring to it? I'm also relearning how to simply have a job. A 40-hour-a-week, show-up-every-day, coworkers-want-to-socialize-and-invite-you-to-things-on-the-weekend kind of job. I haven't lived that way in a long time.

As an independent contractor, you show up. You serve. You leave. You send your bill. There was a freedom in that life that I don't think I fully appreciated until now.

At the same time, I've watched the tide turn in my profession. Newer and younger, and often cheaper, professionals seem to be getting more of the work. But beyond that, there simply seems to be less work available. Maybe technology really has changed the field. Maybe the economy has. Maybe both. Whatever the reason, something has shifted.

So even though I was longing for stability, I find myself mourning my old life. And if I'm being completely truthful, I've been feeling a little depressed. A little like I failed. Which is strange, because this career pivot is nothing short of exciting.

I am entering an entirely new field. There is so much I don't know yet. I am learning new systems, new language, new expectations, new people and an entirely different way of working.

And then, because apparently one major adjustment wasn't enough, during my job search I also somehow landed a part-time work-from-home position that allows me to continue using one of my specialized technical skills. I had been in such a slump that when the full-time opportunity came along, I couldn't bring myself to back out of the minimum hours I had committed to for the part-time job.

Part of that was practical. The full-time position has an end date. Two years from now, I don't want to find myself standing at the beginning again, wondering where the work went and wishing I had maintained the skill and connection I already had.

So, for now, I'm doing both.

And it's been tough.

But somewhere inside all of this, I've realized something.

I had been looking at the ending when I should have been looking at the beginning.

Yes, something ended. Or maybe it changed. But something else has begun. I have so much to learn, and that in itself can be challenging. But it's also exciting. And I still have so much to offer. That is the part I cannot forget.

That's the part that has to pull me up when my mind starts telling me that I've somehow reached the other side of my useful years.

Life isn't over. My career isn't over. The work is never done. And FormaFit Active apparently isn't done either.

Because if you think I've stopped finding ways to move just because I'm missing my hiking hours, you don't know me very well. These days, movement looks different. I'm stretching at my desk. I'm setting a timer and raising my standing desk. I'm touching my toes when no one is looking, and sometimes even when they are.

I'm paying attention to eating throughout the day instead of getting so busy that I forget. I'm limiting my caffeine. I'm looking for little opportunities to move inside a schedule that currently doesn't leave a lot of room for long walks and hikes. Micro movement. Because movement and aging intentionally are still part of the whole thing. Maybe especially now.

I'm working more than 50 hours a week between the two jobs. I've worked more than that before, and I know plenty of people do. But there is a difference when you've spent years self-employed.

When you're self-employed, sometimes you can say no. Right now, I can't always say no. Right now, I have to ride this wave for a while. So the posts here may be slower. The hikes may be fewer.

Movement may happen in ten-minute walks, underneath a standing desk, or in a random toe-touch beside my chair.

And the person writing these entries may still be figuring out exactly where she fits in this new machine.

But I'm still here. Still moving. Still learning. Still aging intentionally. And still beginning.

Live Well, Be Well,

Stay Active, Stay Sharp, Stay Ready

Coach Vida

Take a mindful moment and enjoy the view from a very special lunch spot

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Coach Vida

Coach Vida is the voice behind FormaFit Active a movement journal rooted in mindful motion, real gear, cultural pride, and showing up without apology.
She believes in slow mornings, walking when it hurts, and building strength that feels like freedom.

Her motto: You don’t have to look like an athlete to move like one.

She writes from Los Angeles, with a speaker clipped on and sunscreen always in the bag. This journal is for anyone reclaiming energy, stretch by stretch.

Coach Vida es la voz detrás de FormaFit Active, un diario de movimiento con raíces en el cuerpo, la cultura y la intención.
Cree en moverse con calma, en estirarse cuando duele, y en la fuerza como libertad.

Su lema: No tienes que parecer atleta para moverte como uno.

Escribe desde Los Ángeles, con su bocina a un lado y bloqueador en la mochila.
Este espacio es para quienes se están reclamando, paso a paso.

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