I’ve become a salaryman. If you watch Korean dramas, you know exactly what I mean. The office workers, the bosses, the meetings, the team lunches, the coffee runs, and the complicated workplace hierarchies. Well, here I am. Two months into my own salaryman era.
After years of full-time self-employment, contracting, and consulting, I’ve traded sending invoices for receiving a regular paycheck. I’ve traded working independently for being part of a team. And perhaps most noticeably, I’ve traded eating lunch alone in my car for eating lunch with coworkers.
Now, before anyone feels sorry for the woman who used to eat lunch in her car, let me explain. I loved those lunches.
My FormaFit van has an entire 360-degree sunshade setup. Los Angeles heat notwithstanding, that van was my little sanctuary. After spending hours working with people, I looked forward to closing the doors, setting up my shades, and enjoying a little peace.
I mentioned this to a coworker recently, and he said he felt bad hearing it. But there was nothing to feel bad about. I lived for those breaks!
These days, lunch is still an escape, but it’s an escape from our desks rather than from people.
We eat together. We get coffee together. Sometimes we go offsite. I remind the boss to eat. I tell people where we’re meeting when their meetings run late. Somehow, I’ve become one of the office people. And I’m enjoying it. That’s not to say the transition has been effortless. For one thing, I’m exhausted.
I’ve adjusted my sleeping schedule, my wardrobe, and my daily routines. I come home wanting to decompress, and the energy I once put into my personal projects has taken a hit.
I’m still doing some gig work, both to supplement my income and to maintain my professional skills. But my other projects have slowed considerably.
I haven’t been posting videos as often, although I’ve continued capturing little moments here and there. I haven’t been journaling as much either.
Even my weekends have changed. They used to offer opportunities for adventures. Now they’re increasingly reserved for rest, errands, and catching up on chores. I hope that’s temporary.
I’ve also realized that I need to start exercising again, not just for my health but to keep up with the demands of my workday. We have standing desks, which is great, but standing isn’t the same as moving. I’m considering introducing a 10 a.m. walking break into my routine.
Apparently, becoming a salaryman requires a little conditioning.
Then there’s the adjustment to being an employee.
I’m accustomed to managing my own work, negotiating deliverables, coordinating contractors, and sending invoices. Now I have assigned responsibilities, someone to report to, and someone to supervise.
There’s also an entire organizational world to learn: who owns what, who needs to be consulted, who should be approached first, and how decisions move through the system. It’s a learning curve.
And here’s something I didn’t quite anticipate: getting used to receiving guidance.
I’ve spent years teaching, consulting, developing materials, and making decisions independently. I’m comfortable being the person people turn to for answers. Now I’m learning from people who understand an organizational world that is still relatively new to me.
Sometimes the advice is exactly what I need. Sometimes it’s something I already know. Sometimes I find myself thinking, Excuse me, I’ve been a self-employed diva for years. But I listen. Because the truth is, I don’t know what I don’t know.
I’m also discovering that having expertise and knowing how to communicate it within a particular organization are two different things.
I’m accustomed to being able to think on my feet, especially when I teach. I prepare, but I can usually improvise, explain, and develop ideas as I go.
Lately, I haven’t always felt that same ease in meetings. Sometimes I struggle to find the right words. Sometimes I make a suggestion and can’t tell how it’s been received. Other times, an idea I wasn’t sure I’d communicated particularly well becomes part of a larger team discussion. I’m still learning how to read the room.
And perhaps I’m also learning that I don’t have to carry every idea from beginning to end myself. That’s part of being on a team.
Socially, I’m still finding my footing, too. Sometimes I think I’ve shared too much about myself. Other times, I say very little. My coworkers seem interested in getting to know me, and I’m still figuring out what that looks like.
Even getting dressed has become an interesting little experiment.
As a consultant, I was often making first impressions. Now I’m a regular somewhere. I see the same people every day, which gives me more freedom to shop my own closet and wear a wider range of things.
Am I corporate now? I genuinely wonder.
The funny thing is, I don’t particularly miss the hustle of self-employment. I might have expected to miss the freedom, but I’m enjoying this new challenge too much to dwell on it.
And the workplace is fairly flexible. I’m probably stricter with myself than anyone else is.
It’s technically an 8-to-5 job, although people arrive at different times. I choose to keep a consistent schedule because I don’t want to get caught up in calculating who owes whom an extra hour. I want to do my work, do it well, and go home.
But there’s another reason this chapter feels different. The salary.
Not because it represents some grand professional achievement, but because it represents stability. After a period of financial uncertainty, there’s something extraordinary about knowing when your next paycheck is coming.
It’s difficult to explain what security feels like when you’ve spent so much time without it. Perhaps it’s not even the presence of something new. Perhaps it’s the absence of fear.
I know this position isn’t permanent. It’s a two-year appointment, and I’m very aware that there’s an end date. I’m also aware of the difficult employment market and how fortunate I am to have this opportunity.
So, naturally, I find myself wondering what comes next.
Do I need to build a LinkedIn presence? Should I be thinking about another salaried position? Is this a career transition, or simply a stop along the way?
I’ve given myself some room to figure that out.
The first year is for learning, adjusting, and doing the work. The second will be for thinking more seriously about what follows. At least, that’s the plan. For now, I’m two months into a very different working life.
I’m tired. I’m learning. I’m getting to know people. I’m discovering new routines and trying to hold on to the projects and interests that were part of my life before this job.
I miss having weekdays available for spontaneous adventures, but I don’t miss wondering where the next invoice will come from.
And I still have my FormaFit Active van, complete with its sunshades.
Only now, instead of escaping to it for lunch, I’m sometimes heading out with the team.
Who knew? My salaryman era.
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